list of trash aus i need immediately

• “hey we hooked up last night and it turns out you are my childs teacher” au
• “we both play this stupid game online and you keep beating me every single goddamn time so i called you out and you are pretty cute but can you not” au
• “im a bartender and you just came in here without shoes sat down and ordered a chocolate volcano and idk what the fuck that is and im scared to ask” au
• “we are neighbours and every night at 3:14 am you start yodeling for no fucking reason??? why???? is that you yodeling??? its been 2 months???” au
  
• “im a pizza delivery person and i just delivered a pizza to someone in the middle of a satanic ritual and they gave me their number???” au
  
• “i woke up this morning to find you sitting in my living room with a goat in a poncho??? who are you??? why is the goat wearing a poncho??? how did you get the goat in here i live on the 12th floor???” au
  
• “we work out at the same gym and you always look super legit but i know you sing hannah montana in the shower and you know i know” au
  
• “im a cashier and i saw you stuffing you pants full of potatoes and i would stop you but you already have 27 and i want to see how many you can fit"au
  
• “its 4 am and im drunk as fuck in a mcdonalds and you have been watching my trying to eat this burger for 30 minutes” au
  
• “i was playing beer pong with a coin and i accidentally threw it right into your eye at a party” au
  

Did you know that you actually can never forget a face? Every single face you’ve ever seen during your life gets stored into your memories, and gets used up later. For example, in dreams your brain can’t just make up a face. Every single face you’ve seen in your dream, you’ve seen somewhere once in your life.

And those strange nightmares you’ve had of those terrible demon like creatures ?

You’ve seen them around too, you just cant remember. You don’t want to remember.